Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 01:33 pm
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. -- Talk about a slippery suspect.

A man is accused of applying Vaseline petroleum jelly to every surface in his room at a Motel Six near Binghamton, New York.

After Roger Chamberlain checked out last week, the cleaning crew discovered mattresses and bedding were slathered with the slippery stuff. Vaseline covered the TV set, furniture, carpeting and towels -- and everything else in the room. Police found 14 empty Vaseline containers and numerous pornographic magazines in the room's trash can. Damage to the motel room and its contents was estimated at over $1,000. A sheriff's deputy found the Virginia man a short time later at another motel. The deputy said the man was "smeared from head to foot with Vaseline." Chamberlain was sent to jail after being charged with felony criminal mischief. The motel manager says the room still can't be used.
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 05:35 am (UTC)
I wonder if that could qualify for a Darwin award? The criteria are to take yourself out of the gene-pool, usualy by either death or removal of reproductive function.

In this case it sound unlikely that any female is going to stay in the same room as him, so it could well be allowed.
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 05:50 am (UTC)
Definitely a slippery customer. Perhaps his punishment should be on a sliding scale. And maybe he'll help oil the wheels of justice.
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 05:51 am (UTC)
Picks up wet haddock

*Thwap*
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 06:28 am (UTC)
Wince. WINCE. WINCE.

Sir, I salute you! Anyway, not to worry, I'm sure he'll end up on the skids.
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 06:29 am (UTC)
There was a sculpture in the foyer of the Ritzy cinema in Brixton last year that was made of ten tons of vaseline. Obviously, popular stuff.

But, were his magazines dwarf porn or midget porn?
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 06:31 am (UTC)
You're a sick puppy, and need to spend more time in the presence of nuns.
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 07:13 am (UTC)
Oooo, yes please.

I'd stick a link to "nun of the week" in here but there's too many people around for me to even look at the page long enough to copy the address.

Ten tons of vaseline takes up a lot less room than you might expect.
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 07:27 am (UTC)
there's too many people around for me to even look at the page long enough to copy the address

[grin] A fact for which I feel strangely grateful ...
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 02:31 pm (UTC)
Which now has two readers rather than the one it had when I created it.
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 09:00 am (UTC)
Fortunately I don't know ... and I'm not going to open it just to check - I'm at work, you know! [grin] [livejournal.com profile] revererendjim is the man to ask ...
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 01:35 pm (UTC)
my vote for nun of the week goes to sister mary, the nun that the topgear production team put in a monster truck this week and proceeded to drive over a succession of junkers.

it's the small things which keep me amused...
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 09:01 am (UTC)
Now look at the thread you've created ... it's even syndicated as a feed, damn you!
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 09:20 am (UTC)
[Tries to look innocent]
[Probably fails]

I don't think I'll be subscribing to that, I do virtually all my LJ reading at work. Not that I understand all this feeds and interwebby thing. But, yep, those are the nuns I was on about.

Oh, hang on. I meant "I don't think I'll be subscribing to that as I have no interesting in women dressing as nuns (assuming nuns had a habit [I know] of wearing stockings and the such) and in fact I view it (not that I have, obviously) as filthy, degrading and blasphemous. Why, they're nothing more than painted Jezebels! "Nun of the week"? "Whore of Babylon of the week" if you ask me."

Right I'm off home for a lie down in a darkened room.

Let me no when the Whore_of_Babylon feed is up and running
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 09:28 am (UTC)
Let me know when the Whore_of_Babylon feed is up and running

I would - but I'd prefer to be in a darkened room with said creature ... [grin] And we know a painted [livejournal.com profile] jezebel_z! [grin]
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 06:30 am (UTC)
So if he was "smeared from head to foot with Vaseline" at the next motel why didn't they notice when he checked into this one?

(actually, my other thought was what sort of company was emplying him that he could do this - maybe he was a sample distributor for vaseline?)
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 06:33 am (UTC)
Unfortunately, the logical part of my brain just kicked in, and said: "Maybe he had cleaned himself up before he left the former motel, and had only just got started at the new one." Damn that logical side!
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 07:34 am (UTC)
You've seen "Striptease", right?
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 07:41 am (UTC)
I havent ant against my better judgement
types "striptease vaseline' into google,
fearing for what I might find... luckily the
movie is the top link :-)
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 09:02 am (UTC)
You really live life on the edge, sir!
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 07:36 am (UTC)
ewwwwwww! That is definitely NMK!
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 08:09 am (UTC)
Bizarre. I've just been up to one of the computer rooms to have a look at something and under the chair I was sitting on was a small tin of vaseline.

How about writing a post about a horde of long-haired nymphomaniacs in stockings and interesting corsetry? It would liven up the job no end.
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 09:14 am (UTC)
Well, I could do ... but not from work ... and I'm not sure whether I'd want to start a "badly written porn" thread on my LJ! [grin]
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 11:27 am (UTC)
Bah! Have all the entrepreneurs left the states? I'd have thought they'd be able to make the money back pretty damn quick just by renting the room as is ;)