[Radio] Guy Browning's Small Talk (Radio 4)

[dancefloorlandmine]

On the subject of kissing:

If you have a beard, take a moment to shave it off. Remember that girls don't enjoy kissing beards, because it's like having a badger reversing into you.

There's another 15 minutes of similar advice, available free from Radio 4 on the net ...

Comments

[zotz]

it's like having a badger reversing into you.

Would that be a good thing or a bad thing, generally?

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

[grin] As "man with goatee", I decline to comment ...

[zotz]

That would be like having a partially-shaved badger backing into you, wouldn't it?

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

A badger who's gone for a sort of low-profile mohawk?

[zotz]

That sort of thing, yes. But an all-over mohawk, naturally.

[zotz]

Presumably the mohawked badger in question is a skunk-rocker.

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

[snork] You were working up to that, you swine!

[zotz]

I'd love to have been, but I only just remembered it. I think it's an old Billy Connolly quip, from the days when he had a bleached streak in his hair.

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

A full body length mohawk, yes!

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

like having a badger reversing into you.

This made me laugh really quite hard.

I used to be extremely averse to beards - coming from a family of beardy men, I just couldn't find facial hair sexy. I'm coming around to the idea now though - some people do suit them.

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

Helps to hide the rest of my chin ... [grin]

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

Don't you mean it helps to hide your OTHER chin? :-)

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

Nope - but if you'd ever seen the pre-beard picture of me, you'd realise that I have a fairly sturdy line in lower jaws. The goatee helps disguise this fact. A little. It's currently not big enough to hide a second chin - although that's a possibility if one develops!

[missfairchild.livejournal.com]

Oh, what a mental image.

I wonder what sound a badger makes when it's reversing?

[sbisson.livejournal.com]

"beep beep beep beep" of course...

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Caution. This badger is reversing. Caution. This badger is reversing.

[easterbunny.livejournal.com]

Given that the book I just finished centers around the joy of badgers (tanukis, specifically), I think that Tom Robbins might take exception to that statement.

[easterbunny.livejournal.com]

Villa Incognito. More badgers, fewer disturbing illustrations of hairy 1970's Man. No glossary at the end.

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

Tantric Tanukis?

[trizia.livejournal.com]

Oooh, tanukis are ace! I love Miyazaki's tanuki anime.

[easterbunny.livejournal.com]

I've never seen any. The tanukis sounded cute (if occasionally vicious) from the description in the book - I'll have to look up the anime.

[trizia.livejournal.com]

Heisei Tanuki Gassen Ponpoko is the Japanese name, Heisei-era Racoon War Pom Poko is the English title. The website is here

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Incidentally, in the last 30 days, 1049 people searched our database for 'badger'. So badgers must be desirable on some level.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Oh gods. More worryingly, 'badger cock' and 'badger nude' got two searches apiece.

Most people appeared to be looking for http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

[snork]

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

Perhaps they are all strange Jerome Flynn obsessives?

[Note for those unaware: "Badger" was a crap series starring Jerome FLynn as a wildlife detective, whatever the hell that was. And no, I didn't watch it]

[bob]

it wasnt that crap.

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

Jerome Flynn. Not crap. Sorry, that just doesn't compute...

[bob]

he played the part. the stories were midly entertaining.


bob deletes somethign then backs away from the argument

[smorgasbord.livejournal.com]

Now I need a mind wipe. Just the last minute would do.

[bob]

but shaving would require effort. effort is bad.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

See, this is not the attitude to have if you want to woo the ladies. Effort is required at every stage!

[bob]

so thats where ive been going wrong. next you will be saying i need to do things like cut my hair and use shampoo.

[velvetfox.livejournal.com]

I am reminded of an attempted chat up line used towards me in Rockworld about a decade ago "ee yer hair's nice. whaddaya do, wash it or sommat?"

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

[grin] Well, given that it was Rockworld ... [grin]

[velvetfox.livejournal.com]

indeed - impressive

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

Dude, I salute your approach!

[bob]

its great isnt it. :)

[lost-house.livejournal.com]

[ponders]

depends very much on the beard but on balance, when it comes to kissing:
* beard - good
* cleanshaven - good
* stubble - spawn of the devil, sandpaper face nastiness

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

[grin] In agreement - at least beards don't give the sandpaper effect.

Off topic - a favour

[hsb.livejournal.com]

Your mail is bouncing, by the way.

Remember how every so often I ask if you would be able to collect something from Ikea, and we never get as far as practical details? Well, the first time, I think you said it should fit in Minebringer, which then went on holiday to the workshop for a while. This link should, with a bit of luck, bring you to the correct item on their website, and a link to details of size and weight of the package are in the grey box.

http://www.ikea.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10101&storeId=7&productId=13880&langId=-20&parentCats=10120*10364

If you can grab two of these for me (two should fit under the window, which would make a convenient seat), I'd be ever so grateful and there can be rejigging of storage and space made for a heater.

If you give me your bank details, I'll put the money in your account (through the magic of First Direct phone banking), or hand over a cheque when I see you next. Dinner on us may also be on offer, if you want to come over some evening between now and us going away in early Sept.

Actually, do you fancy going punting on Sunday? The family organises a trip to Cambridge every year, where picnics are eaten at Granchester. Before you fear being stuck in a punt with my redoubtable mother, it's with three or four contemporaries of my pa, and assorted hangers on (aka family and the odd friend of family member). Anyway, I think you'd probably enjoy it. If you don't yet punt, you'll be taught.

Thanks, hon.

H (hsworthy at yahoo dot com)

Re: Off topic - a favour

[d-floorlandmine.livejournal.com]

[grin] Due to bouncing mail, I didn't know you'd put this comment on ... Sorry about that! It was Lycos, who don't include the contents of your trash folder in your quota as shown on screen, but seem to include it when it working out mail bounces. And the trash doesn't empty itself, but, not being shown, I thought it did. So that bit was my fault - although I wasn't sure why it was bouncing with 10% headroom ...

Anyway, should be able to manage the IKEA trip - either Friday evening, or at the weekend. Are you guys going to be around at the weekend? Actually, should be able to borrow the Maternal Skoda, which will solve any carriage problems.